Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom

This weeks question is an important one that many of us have encountered at one time or another:

Dear Uncle Bradley,

I want to date, or I just started dating. When do I tell said date that I am bipolar, unipolar? Do I bring it up at all? What if I am rejected?

Signed, Anonymous,

Excellent question, Anonymous. If you are just dating someone then I personally see no reason to bring it up at all. Just enjoy your dates, and if you have those emotional times when you can't handle it then just tell your date you don't feel well and can't go out.

If you are dating someone with the assumption or hope that it will develop into something more then that's an entirely different story. I also think it's more likely what you are referring too since not many people just date anymore.

In the early stages of dating I see no reason to tell your suitor that you are bipolar. If you are experiencing mood swings or behavior to the point that it is very noticeable then you probably want to tell him. I would think your odds of keeping the relationship going are better if you tell him in this situation, rather than if you didn't tell.

Finally, what if you are dating an individual and then determine that the relationship is becoming deeper. My belief is that is when it's time to tell him. Honesty is an important part of any relationship including your mental illness. Try and have some pamphlets available to provide him after you tell him. You could even ask if he'd like to go with you to talk with your therapist so he has an understanding. Don't be too upset if he has a lot of indecision at this time because some people are very ignorant of bipolar and mental illness. I've had some people think that meant I was schizophrenic and some thought it must mean I become dangerous when I'm manic. Try and educate him the best you can.

What if you are rejected? It may happen and it's something beyond your control other than educating him the best you can. Mental illness is scary to many people. Depending on your situation it may mean a significant amount of support that your other half may have to give and perhaps he's unwilling or unable to provide that.

All you can do is be honest. Any relationship based on dishonesty is not a true relationship. Unless the situation remains as casual dating then there will come a time when you have to tell. All you can do is be completely honest and hope for the best.

If you are facing this situation, I wish you well.

Uncle Bradley

Uncle Bradley is not a physician or therapist. He's just a guy sharing his opinions based on his own life experiences.

If you have a question for Uncle Bradley then please feel free to leave the question in one of the comment sections during the week. If you prefer to remain anonymous then choose the contact button on the blog and email your question.

It's All About MEME

Yesterday I was tagged by Crighton Johin of The Guest House and ariadnek of Weird Cake. The spirits above must be looking after me because they both tagged me with the same meme and it's kind of a fun one. The rule is that I must list six habits/quirks about myself.

Here's my list:

1. I bite my nails and I mean really bite them down to the quick. It's a habit I've tried to shake since I was a kid.
   
2. I'm a living stereotype. I'm a gay man who talks with a very pronounced lisp. When I was a kid I went to speech therapy for six years before they gave up.
3. My mom was 39 and had six kids already when she became pregnant with me. I didn't need to be a genius to figure out I was an oopsie baby.
4. I've worked as a salesperson numerous times in the past including selling auto club memberships, water filters and burial plans. I sucked at all of them. I just wanted to talk to people not sell them shit they didn't need.
5. I love to dance and don't do it nearly enough. Sometimes I'll just dance around the house (good exercise btw)
6. I'm a huge flirt. Doesn't matter who you are. Male, female, gorgeous, unattractive. If we have an interaction it's likely I'll flirt a bit.

At this point I'm suppose to tag six people, but I'm going to break that rule as always. If you'd like to be tagged for this meme, consider yourself tagged.

Growing Up

I'm becoming a big boy now. Becoming balanced again after all this time is like being born again (not in the religious sense...or maybe so). Anyway, things I couldn't do because of my crazy mind are coming back to me.

Here's what I should get gold stars for:

1. I cleaned the kitchen again last night.

2. I've been showering every day and taking care of my personal hygiene.

3. I started reading a book yesterday and am almost half way through it.

4. I'm working on a website and ran into some technical difficulties, as I mentioned yesterday. After freaking out for awhile I was finally able to calm down and find solutions for the problems.

These are all HUGE steps for me and it feels good getting life in order again, though I must admit it's damn scary. I'm trying to enjoy my new found freedom without overdoing it, but that's a toughie because I have to keep in constant check otherwise I won't realize when I'm pushing myself too hard.

The one thing I am missing is my ability to write funny stuff. I don't know what's happened but even I have become bored with my most recent posts. From my perspective it validates that being crazy or on drugs makes a person more creative. I wonder if there's been any serious studies about that.

The Stare

I wish I was in a staring contest. I'm in the middle of redesigning a website and have had a major brain fart for two days now. I just stare at my screen and wonder how to do some things I should know how to do. Instead, I'm drawing complete blanks. I'm certain I've passed some record for going the longest time without blinking. I should invite the neighbor over with a stop watch.

I'm sure that part of my problem is having to get rebalanced on my meds since going off of them. I also think anxiety is having a lot to do with it. This is my first job in two years and I don't want to screw anything up. There's only a couple of items that I need to take care of and then the rest of the website will be relatively easy. Unfortunately, I can't go on to the other things until the problems I'm having are rectified. AAARGH!

Maybe I should consider driving an ice cream truck. I wonder how much they make.

That's it. Short and sweet today. I need to get back to my staring.

Huh? Wha? I don't get it.

I have dual citizenship these days. Not only do I live in the state of California - I live in a state of confusion. Over a week ago my pdoc got the flu which led to pneumonia. During this time I ran out of several meds and made the mistake of waiting for her to come back to get my refills. Sure, I should have gone to the clinic and spoke with the doctor on duty, but I was stubborn and kept believing she'd be back in another day or two. Big mistake.

Fortunately, I'm not going into wild mood swings, but I am experiencing a lot of confusion and insecurity. I would be perfectly happy curling up in bed and hugging a pillow all day. I guess the good news is that I can keep myself from doing so these days. That wouldn't have been possible before. The bad news is, this feeling sucks. I constantly feel like bugs are crawling up and down inside me (there's a pleasant picture for you). I feel so insecure that I just want to hide from the world.

I'm back on my meds, but I have to go back on them slowly so it will probably take a week or so for them to kick in. In the meantime I'll just have to deal with it and hopefully function okay in the process. Today, I'm not functioning all that well. Anything I set out to do, I get disoriented in the process.

For now, I'll just have to hang on tight and wait this feeling out. It's something I can do, but it makes it hard to get anything done in the interim. I'll just have to hold on and do my best.

I lost the two pounds I gained and am back down to 283. This seems to be a magic number that my body seems to like. If I could just get below 280, I would feel like I made a major accomplishment. That's going to take some motivation to move which is a little tougher than normal right now. I'll just have to find the right attitude and perspective to look at it from and it should be easy to accomplish.

This upcoming Friday will offer another edition of Uncle Bradley's Word's of Wisdom. If you have a question on any subject, just leave a message in the comments section and I'll get to you. If you prefer to ask anonymously then drop me an email.

Have you checked out the Mental Health Blogging Directory? Get a list of some of the best mental health bloggers our there by going here.

Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom

After last weeks post, I received the following question anonymously:

I guess what I need today is some words of wisdom about how on earth do I motivate myself to get out and walk. Cannot seem to leave the house, except for briefly, or on designated chores like grocery shopping. but then I want to get back as soon as possible. Even walking around the block daily, although simple in my head, is daunting in reality. I have no idea why, but that's unnecessary, I just need to do it.

I have prayed about it, but even that is not working. I know walking would be good for me, but sheesh, cannot take the first step. Even if I do get it together, rarely, to get out and do it for one day, and think to myself, "How good this feels," it does not carry over into the next day.

Any words of wisdom on exercise, would be totally appreciated

Dear Anonymous,

It sounds like you have taken some great steps to try and motivate yourself to get out and walk, but none of them are going to work if you aren't truly motivated. Perhaps walking isn't your thing. There's plenty of options to get out and shake your booty. Don't keep pushing yourself to do something that is not in your nature. That only leads to self doubt and shame, which will only make it harder for you to get the exercise you need.

Since you mentioned walking, let's stick with that first. Walking does not have to be an event in and of itself. Where do you park your car when you go shopping? Are you one of those who drives around for an hour hoping a space near the store opens up, or do you just casually park at the end of the parking lot and enjoy a brisk walk into the store? What about stairs? Do you take stairs or do you take an elevator? When the option is available I try not to take an elevator less than 2 or 3 flights. In those instances I choose to walk up the stairs. There are plenty of ways to be creative during the day and try to get some exercise in without having to "go for a walk".

Do you like dancing? You don't have to go to a club to dance, you can dance anywhere. The middle of your living room is the perfect place. I have a collection of songs on my iTunes called "Energy". I can pop in energy and begin dancing away and burn a lot of calories while having a great time. It's also something I can do while cleaning house which makes it less of a chore. Put some high energy music on and I can shake my ass while cleaning the toilet or washing dishes. Doing this not only gives me the exercise I need, but I get some chores done AND most importantly, it lifts my spirits.

Have you tried a gym? They can be intimidating, but there are plenty of cardio machines there. Is it easier for you to walk a treadmill rather than going for a walk? How about a stationary bike? Swimming?

The key is to be creative and get your body moving anyway you can. Once you get stuck in that slump and stop moving then it becomes harder and harder to get the exercise you need. Rememember it's one day at a time. In fact, it's one hour at a time. Remind yourself that you don't have to exercise forever, but you do need to exercise for a little time today. That's all. Tomorrow will come around tomorrow and that's when you can decide if you want to do some exercise again.

I'd also like to suggest a walking partner to help keep you motivated if walking is what you want to do. If there is a mall near you, most now have walking clubs that begin about an hour or so before the malls open. Near me there is a walking club that meets on the beach each morning to start their day. I'd guess there's something similar in your area.

Once again, I want to point out to be creative. Don't think of it so much as "EXERCISE" that must be miserable and that I must do for a certain period of time each day. Take baby steps throughout the day. Don't allow your body to become too stagnant. Move, move, move in one way or another. And keep trying different options to find the right kind of exercise that may work for you best.

Lastly, the tougher part of my answer. Sometimes Anonymous, you've just got to do it. That's the cold hard reality. Hopefully some of the suggestions I listed will help.

Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom appears every Friday. Questions can be placed on any comments section during the week or email if you prefer to be anonymous. Remember to consult your physician before beginning any type of health or fitness plan.

Finally, a reminder, that I am not a physician or therapist. I am just a regular guy giving my own opinions based upon my personal experiences.

I Feel Truly Honored

Psych Central has awarded me as one of the top ten bipolar blogs of 2008. Their review of my blog can be found here, along with their reviews of the nine other recipients.

A special shout out to my friends Susan and Chica. Susan of Wellness Writer who made the top ten list and Chica of Bipolar Chica "Conversations in my Head" who received an honorable mention. You're both top winners in my book.

This put a smile on my face for the day.

How Did I End Up Working Again?

I've mentioned numerous times that I have strong reservations about going back to work again. The idea makes me a nervous wreck to the point I shake violently when giving it serious thought. In a nutshell, I don't think I'm ready. Seriously, my mind tells me that I am far from being ready to work again. Apparently my higher power has a difference of opinion.

I manage the website for my church and volunteered to give the site a much needed major overhaul. Two weeks ago the President of our Church Board came to me and told me that the project was much more than they could expect of a volunteer. I didn't go to him, or the minister or anyone else on the board. They came to me and now as a result I am being paid very handsomely to overhaul the website.

Yesterday a new situation occurred. A friend of mine is also a web designer and she happens to be overloaded. Last night she sent me an email asking if she could hire me to complete some work for her and once again gave a generous offer that I can't refuse.

I have no idea what the effects of these will be once I start working and getting paid. How will they affect my health care benefits and my social security are big questions I need to find out. In the meantime, it looks like I'll be going back to work and not in a way that I expected.

It's funny how the universe has plans for us that don't match our own plans sometimes.

Diet Update: I've gained two pounds and I'm up to 285. I have been eating healthier overall, but have not been walking or getting any other form of exercise. History tells me that without exercise, I'm not going to lose weight. That means I've got to get out and shake my booty somehow.

Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom

My latest question comes from da old man:

Uncle Bradley: What's the best recommendation you would have for losing weight. I have a way to go, and how can one stay motivated?

I saw you mention "treat days or meals" or something like that. Do they help? How does one stop a treat day from turning into treat week, month, year?

You're asking me the best way to loose weight? A guy over a hundred pounds overweight and you expect me to be the expert? You aim low, don't you my friend? Actually, I was able to take some weight off and kept it off for a number of years, so I'll give it a shot. I'm not going to discuss what to eat and such, we all know that a carrot is a healthier snack than a chocolate bar. It seems that your question has more to do with the psychology of weight loss, so that's what I'll discuss based on my personal experience.

DON'T DIET!

If you are dieting, then you are saying that you are simply looking for a way to lose weight. Losing weight is not what you want to do. You want to lose weight and keep it off and that is not done through dieting. That's done via lifestyle change. If you struggle and strain yourself to lose a certain amount of weight you'll eventually go off the diet and the weight will come back on. Say to yourself out loud...NO MORE DIET's. Forget about the grapefruit diet or the cabbage soup diet. Those fads are not teaching you anything about maintaining a healthy body. Personally, I like cabbage soup but I doubt it's something I could stay on for the rest of my life.

If dieting is not the key to weight loss then what is? Eating right and exercise is the answer. We've all heard that before, it's nothing new. It really is that simple though. It's simple, but not easy. But here's a way to make it easy for you: Can you eat right and exercise for just one day? I'm sure if you think about it you could push yourself a little. Just one day. The reason to do this is because one day is all it takes. I'm borrowing here from Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcoholics do not swear off alcohol the rest of their lives. That is nearly impossible. What the alcoholic does is swear off having a drink today. They worry about tomorrow when it comes. Many alcoholics who stay with their program end up without drinking for 50 years or so just by not taking a drink "today". It's the same way with living healthy. Tell yourself you're only going to eat right and exercise today and that you'll worry about tomorrow when it comes. If you slip up and eat too much, don't beat yourself up. Just tell yourself that you'll eat right for the rest of the evening and then wait and see about tomorrow. Before you know it you may string enough "todays" together that you find yourself looking and feeling great.

Treat meals or treat day? I hope I didn't suggest it once because I hate the idea. It's something that comes with dieting, but not living a healthy lifestyle. If you really want to change your whole outlook to lose weight then you need to look at them in a different way. Going to a party? Great! Help yourself to a few items at the sweet table. Don't be a bore and tell people you just can't because you're on a diet. How miserable will that make you feel? Enjoy your treats. But watch it. Be careful if you catch yourself eyeing the desert table again for seconds and wondering if you can do it when no one is looking. Depending on what's there, then maybe going back for seconds is OK. You're smart enough to know when a slice of cake is too thick. You're smart enough to know that 20 cream puffs has a whole lot more calories than 5 cream puffs.

You can also look at exercise from the same point of view. You don't have to exercise forever. You just need to exercise today. When I was at my top fitness level I ran on average five miles a day. The trick is I never actually ran 5 miles. I only ran to the next block. Once I got there I ran to the next block. And so on. Towards the end, when I was getting tired, making it to the next block seemed damned impossible so I would start running to the next telephone pole and so on. String enough of these together and I reached 5 miles.

I hope this feedback helps, old man. We want to keep you yelling at cars for many years to come.

My extensive team of attorneys has reminded me to state that I am not a physician or a therapist. I'm just an ordinary guy giving out advice from my own life experiences. As always, you should consult your physican before you begin any diet or fitness programs.

Seeing the World Through Bleary Eyes

As both of my readers may have noticed, I'm just not writing as much anymore. I'm sure that could be cause for a celebration, but I'm bummed out for the reason why. One, is that I am much busier these days, but the biggest part of the struggle is I'm just so damn (Yawn) sleepy and downright lethargic.

In the past I wouldn't consider going a day without writing something and I'd get very frustrated when I had writer's block. Nowadays I'm having what I would call thinker's block.

My new meds are wonderful. They have me feeling balanced. I'm having no high swings and no deep lows. I feel emotionally better than I have in a long time and God knows what an emotional mess I have been. But........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Oh sorry about nodding off like that. I was saying this sleepy, groggy side effect is one thing I just don't like. Not one bit. My pdoc and I laughed and had a great time during my last visit because we thought we'd finally struck gold with the right combination, and I still feel we have, but do I.....zzzzzzzzzzzzz Sorry again, I have that problem a lot and now forget what I was going to say. Oh! I remember now...do I tell her that we're not quite there? Do I tell her that the drowsiness is too much for me? Logically I know I should but dammit, I'm tired of med changes. This may be the closest I'll get to being balanced with my meds and the idea of playing the med change game is not something I want to go back to.

OK, hell, I'll tell her when I see her this Friday, but if she says we're going to have to go back to the med puzzle I think I'll scream if I'm not too tired to do so.

On another note, if you haven't checked out my new directory, please do. It's called Mental Health Blogging Directory and it's one location to find a list of excellent blogs. I wish I had a widget for it, but the ones I keep creating don't seem to work. (sigh). If you know anyone who knows how to make a widget....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Just Some Brief Messages

I'd like to say thank you to Julehya who writes Take It To The Limit for a wonderful review. She has a very nice blog that looks on the bright side of things, plus if you check her profile you'll see other blogs that she has. Please check out her blogs and you may find yourself putting new ones on your blogroll.

I am happy to announce that I have been balanced lately and it feels good. I still have anxiety that I'm dealing with through therapy, but the meds are doing a good job of keeping me from having the massive mood swings.

I will be very busy working on a website over the next month, but I'll be writing at least several times a week, just not every day. Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom will continue each Friday.

Speaking of Uncle Bradley, I need some questions. Be sure to send me your questions. Just place them on any of the comment pages, or if you prefer to be anonymous then you can send me an email.

Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom

Hello Dear Readers. I have a question which comes from Chunks of Reality:

I have a question for you: Why are cake and ice cream fattening? Now, I realize there are some out there boasting "no fat", but come on! We both know they taste like crud with a strange aftertaste!

Chunks, I could go into a lot of information about fats and sugars, etc. but the real answer is that God has proven once again to have a sense of humor. For instance, I'm confident God was giggling when he created the platypus.

Why do you think God doesn't do any of the big miracles anymore like turning people into pillars of salt or raining down fire on cities? I'm certain it's because he's out having fun somewhere. My guess is he's hanging out with otters. Playing around and eating food off his belly. He probably chuckles as he thinks of the cruel joke he made by making everything tasty to be bad for you. All you can do is chuckle along with him and appreciate his off beat sense of humor.



One suggestion is to stay away from fat free cheesecake. It's repulsive. I think God went a little too far with that practical joke.

I'd be interested in hearing some observations from my readers to prove further that God has a silly, sometimes twisted, sens of humor.

**Don't forget** if you have a mental health blog to list it at the newly created Mental Health Blogging Directory. If you're not a mental health blogger but would like a little exposure, you can sign up as a guest.

Damn Depression is Back Again

My fellow Vincent here is pretty well expressing my mood the past couple of days. It's been hard to write and also hard to read. I miss the days where I was really manic. Those are the days where I felt I did my best writing. When I'm depressed like this I'm just too blah. I was able to have the energy to clean the bedroom and the living room this morning, but then I started to go down hill. I'm pretty much in a bad hole right now.

So, I'll have my pity party now, curl up and may attempt to watch a movie or just take a long nap. I have to avoid eating as a way of comforting myself. It doesn't really comfort me but can be so damn hard to resist overeating when I'm this down. I hope to be back at it soon.

I will still be writing Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom tomorrow, so if you have a question, be sure to let me know via the comments section or email me tonight.

The Bathroom Battle

Before you read my post, I must remind you that there are only a couple of days left to get your questions in. Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom will be back this Friday as always.

If you've been a regular reader of my blog you know I have issues with showering or bathing. I'm either too depressed to drag my ass into the shower or so manic that the idea of standing in one place while water sprays on me is just too monotonous and overwhelming at the same time.

Today I took a shower. It's not as big a deal anymore since my meds have me feeling more balanced, but I took it one step further. I actually cleaned the bathroom.

I must be honest here. Our house is not the cleanest place on earth. Maurice works long, grueling hours with his job and my head is spinning too much to take the time to clean. On top of that, the bathroom has always been a place I despise cleaning. But today I decided to defeat that ugly monster.

With a mop in one hand and a toilet brush in the other, I marched straight in there. The sink growled at me, the toilet laughed at me and the shower looked at me with evil in its eyes. I was not intimidated. Within an hour the creature was cleaned shiny and bright.

Usually with bipolar disorder it's a good idea to have consistency, so I've created a schedule for myself. After breakfast and showering each day I do the following:
Monday - Laundry
Tuesday - Bathroom
Wednesday - Kitchen
Thursday - Laundry
Friday - Living room and Bedroom

After each of those I get back to a website I'm designing and work from 12n - 6pm.

This entire consistency thing is kind of scary even though I allow myself flexibility, but it's one step closer to getting out and living a normal life again. You'd think that'd be exciting, but it's actually damned frightening.

Sweetness

So the other day I posted pics of myself and noted that I am no longer on meds that cause weight gain. Woo Hoo! I was on top of the world. I assumed I'd look like Brad Pitt in a matter of weeks. "Don't try to kick sand in my face, Buster!"

The key now is to actually take action. Here's something I heard last week:

Three frogs are sitting on a log. One of them decides to jump in. How many frogs are left on the log?

If you guessed two you are wrong. The answer is actually three frogs. The one frog only made a decision to jump in. Deciding to do something and taking action on that decision are two different things.

That's where I stand now. I'm still craving sweets like crazy. My meals I eat are relatively healthy, but when it's followed up with cake and/or ice cream and cookies, gummy bears, etc, I can decide to lose weight all I want, but it ain't going to happen.

I was thinking I should start journaling my progress daily and then it hit me that is what I have this damn blog for.

Exercise is a biggie with me. I've learned from my past that without exercise I don't lose weight. I did pretty well there when I was going out for my morning
walks, but I don't do them anymore.

So, once again, here are my decisions:

Continue to eat healthy meals
Eat less sweet, fattening foods. When I do, then eat in moderation
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise

I think if I keep writing in my blog over and over that that I'm finally starting my program, I'll bore my readers and myself. That's one motivation to push me off the log a bit.

So the decision is made and now it's time to take action.


You have 4 days to get your questions into Uncle Bradley. You don't want to miss out on some fabulous advice. Just leave a message in any of the comment sections this week, or if you prefer to be anonymous then send me an email.

Uncle Bradley's Words of Wisdom

My first question is from an email by someone who identifies herself as Peggy.

Dear Uncle Bradley,

I don't know what to do about my mother. It seems that nothing I do is right or good enough in her opinion. I usually go to her house to spend time with her on the weekends but it's reaching the point that she's unbearable. She never likes the guys I'm dating, I never dress right, I don't know how to cook. It's nothing but nagging and I just don't want to go over there anymore except I'd feel guilty if I didn't. I want to have a nice relationship with her but it's getting to be too much. What do I do?

Dear Peggy,

The answer is you need to get some balls and not take this kind of crap from your mother. As it stands right now you're eventually going to snap, have a major blowout and make matters worse. If you want to keep her in your life, and it sounds like you do, then some things have to change.

It sounds to me like you think you only have two options. Either visit her or don't visit her. It's not that black and white. There is a third option and that is to visit your mom, but do so on your terms.

The first thing you need to do is talk with her. This may not be easy, but you need to let her know that her behavior is not okay. If you've had the conversation before you need to have it again. Tell her that you care about her but her criticism hurts too much and you're not going to put up with it any longer.

If you follow my advice you have warned her. If you go to visit and she acts with the same behavior then tell her "I'll see you next week" and leave. If you continue this week after week she will hopefully get the point. If not, then she has made her choice by refusing to listen to your feelings. She'll probably think you're bluffing so it may get a bit hairy the first few times around. Keep in mind one of my favorite sayings: "You can't be a doormat if you don't lie down".

You may not want to hear this, but you need to cut her a little slack too. I presume this isn't a behavior that she suddenly woke up with. I'd venture to guess that this behavior has been an ongoing issue for awhile. If so, then don't expect her to change overnight. What I'm suggesting is that you not leave after the first or second judgmental comment she makes. Give it a half hour or an hour, whatever you feel is appropriate based on her behavior. Then simply tell her it's time to leave.

I wish you the best with your mom. I think seeking advice on how to resolve the problem is a loving act in and of itself. I hope it works out for the both of you.

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My second question comes from Immi of migrainchow.com

Dear Uncle Bradley,

Hey Uncle Bradley, what's the best way to deal with being so danged uncomfortable notifying bloggers on my blogroll to help build the directory? I don't have a clue what to say or how to approach and feel nervous about it all.

Dear Immi,

I understand your reluctance to suggest that your blogroll friends sign up for The Mental Health Blogging Directory. I'm guessing it's because you'd feel like you were doing a sales job. I think you first should think to yourself what positives are there and what negatives are there with the directory.

Maybe I'm biased since I created the directory, but I can't see any negatives. There is no cost to sign up, it gives exposure to help draw traffic, and we are doing a service for those who are searching the internet for support.

Also, there is no need to contact everyone on your bloggroll, unless you want to. There are those on my blogroll that I enjoy their blogs, but don't really know well. Then there are those on my blogroll who I communicate regularly with, even if it's just via comments section. If necessary, just focus on the ones you consider cyberfriends and don't worry about the others. If each person could refer five people, then we'd see the directory grow quickly.

In a nutshell, if you think the directory is important, then focus on that. Focus on believing that it's an important service we're offering, by helping others understand that they aren't all alone. We're providing a list of various blogs for them to choose what may work best for them.

Also, to make matters easier, I am working on a widget that can direct people to the directory from your blog.

I hope that helps. If you need further direction, please feel free to contact me at bradley@howisbradley.com

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Uncle Bradley is here to offer his advice ever Friday. Feel free to leave questions in any of the comments sections or by sending an email if you prefer privacy.

I am not a trained professional, just a simple guy giving my own personal opinions.

My scanner isn't working today for some reason so I'm posting a cartoon I have already posted a couple of months back. It's one of my favorites.



Don't forget, fellow bloggers, that the mental health directory I created is up and running. Please take a look here: http://www.mentalhealthblogging.com/ If you blog abpit mental illness, please be sure to sign up.

If you have signed up already, please notify some of the bloggers on your blogroll to help build the directory.

DON'T FORGET UNCLE BRADLEY!

Uncle Bradley will be back on Friday to answer you questions. Be sure to send a question in the next day or two. You can ask a question in the comments section of any post, or click the email button to send it anonymously.